The Woman Men Adore
By Bob Grant, L.P.C.
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He Makes Good Eye Contact
Since guys are visual, it goes without saying that they stare at women whom they find attractive. This is significant because, as a general rule of thumb, men tend to avoid prolonged eye contact because of its threatening nature (think Alpha Male stuff).
In addition, every man can tell you a story of some woman he was nice to, who misinterpreted his kindness as an indication of romantic interest. If you ask 100 men why they are so guarded about giving a woman the wrong impression, the answer is simple, “Because she might not leave.”
How to respond: When you notice his gaze, simply smile back while maintaining eye contact for a couple of seconds and then quickly look away. This simple gesture is all the invitation he’ll need to approach you.
He’ll Listen to You
Need I mention that men hate being bored. Women don’t prefer it, but men detest it. Nothing is more boring to most men than being trapped in a conversation with someone who doesn’t interest them.
If you were to ask how you can tell if you are the woman who is holding him hostage, relax. Most men won’t listen long enough for that to happen to you. If he’s listening to you talk about your work, friends or other interests for more than 5 minutes, he’s interested in you.
How to Respond: Remember that the person doing the talking is NOT in control. The listener is in control. You want the conversation centered on him so that you can begin training him to be emotionally dependent on you.
Men always find women who listen to them to be irresistible. When you are listening, be sure to make eye contact with him occasionally. Most women can easily do two things at once, so resist the urge to listen and look elsewhere.
Without some eye contact, you may hear what he’s saying, but you won’t look like you care.
He Frequents Your Friends
Most men know that if you simply approach a woman and give her a “yes” or “no” question, you only have a 50/50 chance of her saying yes, or worse. Therefore, the clever guys are those who slowly infiltrate your inner circle of friends because they know if your friends like them, they have a better chance with you.
Don’t be threatened if you see a guy strike up a conversation with one of your girlfriends. Yes, he may just be interested in her and not you, but there is a good chance you are the primary target.
As a guy gets to know your friends, it becomes easier for him to approach both of you in the future.
How to Respond: If you notice him talking to one of your gal pals, don’t approach them too quickly. In fact, don’t approach them at all. Act as though you didn’t notice them speaking and maintain your distance.
The next time you are with that friend, stay close to her and he’ll be able to approach you, through her.
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